March 8, 2012

An Excerpt From My WiP (*tries not to hurl*)

I've been tagged in the Lucky 7 Meme by Rachel Pudelek over at A Rainy Day Writer In the Evergreen State. The requirement of this meme is to take my current WiP, flip to the 77th page, down to the 7th line, and to post the following 7 lines. Hence the '7' in Lucky 7. I should preface this by saying that I have massive heart palpitations and feel a little queasy at the moment. Why you ask? Well, I haven't shared my writing with anyone yet. Period. Not even my husband. So with that in mind and also the fact that this hasn't been critiqued/ revised/polished/whatever, here's my excerpt from Watch of Night (I like to think of it as YA Sci Fi Lite):

     Hyperion was a hulking silver ship floating on a sea of nothingness as far as the eye could see. That’s if you didn’t count the horseshoe ring of the Colony surrounding it. I didn’t. It was secluded and lonely and I despised the very sight of it. Over the next few days I avoided everyone, Cal included, secretly plotting my escape. If I’d been thinking rationally, I would never have attempted something so ridiculous. But when my moment finally arrived, I seized it with both hands. One of the Colony’s doors was propped open to admit the latest arrival of plucky new colonists. Nobody noticed when I slipped through the crowd and out to freedom.
     Or so I thought.  (← I totally cheated and added the 8th line.)

So there you have it. It's a very brief flashback of how the protag, Carina, felt about being a part of the Hyperion mission (she had no say in the matter). The rest of the story is told in the First Person, in present tense (big surprise in YA, right?). This WiP has become a big snarly beast and my first draft still isn't quite done. It's going to be a real pleasure (not) to revise, as you can well imagine.

And now, because I really should get back to my writing (I haven't written in nearly two weeks) I kind of need to forego passing this on to seven other writers. Sorry for being such a party pooper :(


38 comments:

  1. Oooooooh! I'm definitely intrigued!

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    1. Thanks :) Your comment made my heart start beating a little more normally.

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  2. It is great, Jaime! No need for hurling :) I've been doing these writing campaign challenges, and it makes me a little queasy every time I upload a piece, too.

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    1. Thanks, Laurie :) I feel much better now that at least two people (not including my sister or my husband) don't think it totally stinks lol. I suppose it gets a little less nerve-racking each time you do it, right?

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  3. I love it! I want to know more! And of course we are all going to absolutely hate you if the rest of your rough draft is that clean :) How do you like writing in first person? It's weird for me, I can only do it with certain characters. I'd prefer never to do it at all, but I have two WiP right now that are both in first.

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    1. Thanks, Jessica :) I actually started writing this WiP in first person, but in past tense. Something felt totally off to me and then I realized that it was the past tense. It worked all right for the odd brief flashback, but it felt like it needed to be in present tense. As for first person, I find it a lot easier to write than third. The difficulty is making sure to get out of my character's head. :)

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  4. No way should you feel like hurling! I think it's great, and I'm even not a big Sci Fi person. :)
    That 8th line adds so much intrigue. I want to know who saw!
    I think 1st person POV fits very well in this passage.

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    1. Thanks! This all makes me feel a whole lot better. I'm kind of hooked on 1st person, especially in this type of story. To me it adds more of a sense of urgency and you feel it just as the MC does.

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  5. Jaime, I love this! Do you have a query or anything about this piece? I want to know more!!

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    1. Thanks, Liz :) I don't have a completed query yet for it. I started writing one awhile ago just to make sure I actually had a story, but haven't returned to it. Soon though.

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  6. Oh I like it. I'm intrigued! Thank you for sharing, even that extra bonus of the 8th line, sneaky you hehe.

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    1. Thanks! It felt incomplete without that 8th line, so I thought I'd bend the rules a little :)

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  7. Nice Jaime!-- this is so very intriguing. Of course, hard to get a feel for the whole thing in just (8) lines, but this seems very cool. I want to know more! And you should definitely KEEP sharing it-- writeoncon is months away, but I took advantage of it the last two years to post chapters or queries and get feedback. You can also do that on the Absolute Write boards. One thing that worked for me many many moons ago was just emailing a couple of blog friends and asking them to read my work. Now I regularly swap manuscripts with several people so we can give feedback to each other.

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    1. Thanks :) I checked out both Absolute Write and Writeoncon after reading this comment. Thanks for mentioning them. I feel a little less nervous now about sharing some of my writing.

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  8. Let me join in the chorus of encouragers, Jaime. You have nothing to worry about, especially if this is a rough draft. It's good. Certainly worthy of letting other people read. You can face giving it to hubby and your beta readers with confidence. :)

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    1. Thanks, Colin! I really appreciate the encouragement from all of you. Hubby, sister, and mom will probably all get to see more soon :)

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  9. This is great. Sci-fi lite is just what I like so i might be biased!
    =)

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    1. Thanks :) I much prefer lighter sci fi and fantasy. I'm not so big on the stuff that's too involved.

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  10. Rough draft?! You definitely need to share more - great stuff!

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    1. Thanks, Suze :) As I'm writing I tend to fiddle a lot with what I've just written, so I guess technically I revise a bit as I go. I definitely feel a bit more comfortable sharing my stuff now.

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  11. Cool. Sci-Fi Lite... so, more like a space opera?

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    1. Space opera might even be a little more sci fi than this. Kind of hard to pinpoint :)

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  12. I can't wait to learn more about that capital-C Colony. And I love your word choice of "plucky"--it really gives me the sense that Carina doesn't consider herself anything like the willing colonists. Yes?

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    1. I'm hesitant to use the capital-C as it seems a little cliche with dystopian and plain old sci fi stuff. Ah well, we'll see. You hit the nail on the head with "plucky" and Carina not sharing their enthusiasm for the mission. :)

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  13. I LOVE THIS!! It's very intriguing and I'm so thrilled I found your blog! Writing buddies!

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    1. Thanks for popping by and thanks for the encouragement :) I just swung by your blog too.

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  14. This is awesome, Jaime! Going to my own WIP and doing the same thing gets me nothing quite as wonderful as your 7 (8) lines. Thanks for sharing!

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    1. Thanks :) I wasn't sure if I was even going to do it and on a whim decided to check out my 77th page, 7th line, etc. and found this. I thought it seemed like the right type of paragraph to share so I did :)

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  15. Ooh! This is fabulous, Jaime! Only seven (okay, eight!) lines, and I totally want to read on. Can't wait to see this one on the shelves someday. :)

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    1. Thanks, Katy :) It was kind of the luck of the draw when it came to passages. If it was some random passage that wasn't even remotely interesting I probably wouldn't have shared lol. Hope it makes it to the shelves one day... :)

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  16. Wow! Jaime! Sounds like a very intriguing story... I loved the little bit you shared. Nice work! ;)

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    1. Thanks, Morgan :) Hope this halfway decent snippet isn't floating in a sea of total garbage (aka the rest of my book?). We'll see, I guess :)

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  17. Love this snippet! I'm definitely intrigued to read more. The rest of your book is sure to be great as well =)

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    1. Thank you, Lora :) I sure hope it's good!

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  18. Love it! This snippet is really great. Your writing is strong and the story in those 7/8 lines left me wanting more, where can I turn the page?
    If you´re looking for beta readers, let me know, I´d be honored! :D

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  19. There was nothing hurlable about that snippet. That was awesome! Where's the rest of it, I say? :)

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  20. The snippet was really great! You have really good writing, and I enjoy reading your posts!

    www.modernworld4.blogspot.com

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  21. LOVE THE SNIPPET!!! When do I get to read more?! ;)

    Thanks for pointing me back here. I must have missed this during my was only supposed to be one month but turned into three blog hiatus. :)

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