Are you listening? It's you from the future—2012 to be precise. We're rapidly approaching the end of the Mayan calendar and whatever that means. It's also just shy of three years 'til we reach the year in which Back to the Future Part II was set. Spoiler alert: We don't yet have hoverboards, flying cars, shoes that do themselves up, or scary weird taste in fashion. (Well, except Lady Gaga and Nicki Minaj. Don't ask.) BUT we have Apple and handheld phones with computers built right into them. Seriously, buy stocks in Apple stat. Also, Facebook is kind of lame and feels like high school all over again.
|Post-Romulan bangs, but still iffy.|
STOP OBSESSING OVER WHAT OTHERS THINK.
I know it's hard, but you will never see these people ever again so their opinions don't count. Let people know who you really are, get involved, and stop caring about whether this guy or that guy might like you. And for the love of all that is good, grow out the bangs already. You look like a Romulan, and at your present point in history, that isn't cool. One day in the not-so-distant future, geek will be chic and some Star Trek fanboy might think helmet bangs are hot. But for 1990s Jaime it's a bad look.
The boys you'll meet in college will be just as immature as they were in high school. Get over them. No, run screaming. Speaking of college, don't shell out the funds for Bible college (trust me), Accounting is so not your thing, and Teaching is...well, I'll spare you the details, but pick another career path. Like Journalism or Creative Writing. I know, weird right? Cultivate your love of writing now. You won't regret it.
I know the handful of guys that you'll date will help you sort out what you really want in a mate, but mostly they're just a string of duds. The one you end up with will have longer hair than you do when you first meet (a fan-of-90s-alternative-and-punk kinda do.), and he'll show you every day that you're more special than you think you are. He's worth waiting for. Trust me. Oh, and by the way, he's a Trekkie and would totally dig your Romulan bangs. But still, grow them out. Do it.
Mostly I just want to let you know:
Hang in there!
P.S. Y2K was totally ridiculous.
P.P.S. Post Grunge Era everyone starts showering again and wearing clothes that fit and aren't flannel.
P.P.P.S. Remember Donnie Wahlberg from New Kids On the Block? Yeah, he's one of your favourite actors now.
P.P.P.P.S. You can stop pinning the fly of your jeans up. You've been going pinless for years and still have yet to 'fly low'.
We all have things we'd like to tell our teen selves, only one of which concerns purchasing Apple stocks. A group of authors compiled letters to their teen selves in a book called Dear Teen Me, published through Zest Books. Here's the Goodreads blurb:
DEAR TEEN ME includes advice from over 70 YA authors (including Lauren Oliver, Ellen Hopkins, and Nancy Holder, to name a few) to their teenage selves. The letters cover a wide range of topics, including physical abuse, body issues, bullying, friendship, love, and enough insecurities to fill an auditorium. So pick a page, and find out which of your favorite authors had a really bad first kiss? Who found true love at 18? Who wishes he’d had more fun in high school instead of studying so hard? Some authors write diary entries, some write letters, and a few graphic novelists turn their stories into visual art. And whether you hang out with the theater kids, the band geeks, the bad boys, the loners, the class presidents, the delinquents, the jocks, or the nerds, you’ll find friends—and a lot of familiar faces—in the course of Dear Teen Me.
To celebrate the launch of this book, lots of people have started writing letters to their teen selves, but also coming up with Dear Teen Me videos. I got to take part in one that the lovely Erin L. Schneider put together: DEAR TEEN ME
It's seriously awesome and well done, and you should check it out. You'll see familiar faces and hear Imagine Dragons!